It's an undeniable fact that marriages don't last these days. It's not that people are not getting married but how to sustain the marriage, how to maintain the relationship has become the struggle. This write up seeks to offer few antidotes to the problem, it's my hope you will take it serious and share with others.

Someone asked me “if sex is not love then why does one get so much hurt when they are cheated on in a relationship?” It’s rather unfortunate people try to confuse love with sex. They are two different things. One can have sex with someone they love and another can also have sex with someone they don't love.

When we talk about attention in the context of relationship, lots of people believe women are the ones who demand a lot of it, some men even tag them as attention seekers. Many people don't know men actually demand attention whilst women seek attention. Yes, you heard me right. When women talk about attention, they are looking for someone who will make time to talk to them. It’s her desire her man will make time to talk to her. She is more hurt when he is not making time to talk to her.

After helping a good number of people with good relationships which many led to beautiful marriages, I also observed some things that are preventing a good number of singles from getting married although they desire, dream and wish to get married. Many have tried various ways, different tactics and strategies. Some even went as far as giving themselves deadlines, all to no avail. 

If your boyfriend or girlfriend can call their friends, family, colleagues and disgrace you to them or tell them negative things about you, such a person should not be your spouse. As a matter of fact, it's a mistake to marry someone who behaves like that. Someone may ask "what about those who pick contacts from your phone and disgraces you to your friends and family". My answer is the same, don't marry such a person. 

Sometimes people cannot stand loneliness and as soon as they come out of a relationship, they rush into another one. When their Ex hears they are in a new relationship, they are surprised. Some Ex even question them on how they were able to move on so fast. Some hold on to the memories for years and eventually get into a relationship. They do that because they got tired thinking of their Ex. Also there is pressure on them to get into a new relationship but its not because they have moved on.

In my country, people value certificates than impact, people put money above lives. We respect the wealthy and look down on the poor, we celebrate thieves and laugh at the honest. We serve the public servants instead of they serving the citizens or the country. 

Young people are buying passion and skills instead of finding their passion and gifts. People are buying success instead of making it. Everything is about money and certificates. 

Insecurity is a disease and if one has it, he or she needs to do their best to get cured before going into a relationship, else they risk destroying the relationship with their actions, mindset and thinking. One sad thing about people suffering from insecurity is that, they believe they are fine and rather find fault with their partners.

There are people who believe once they are in a relationship with you, they own you, you are their invention, you are a piece of property they own. They want to dictate how to live your life instead of offering you lovely advice a friend or a lover will do.

Before they came into your life, you had people you talked to, people you hang around with. People you entertained. Besides that, you were not in a love relationship or intimate with those people, neither were you messing around with them. You had your boundaries and knew what you were doing as an adult and mature person. 

Today’s relationships are full of drama for both males and females, all because we have people who are not mature but find themselves in a relationship leading to marriage. For us to have better marriages this year, for people to marry right this year, it requires growth. We need people who are mature to get into marriage. People who know what they are doing, who have a better knowledge about relationships.