Many homes today lack peace, and as a result, people often find it difficult to return home after a long day’s work. Some even stay away just to find a moment of peace.
Countless individuals have tried to restore harmony and sanity in their marriages or relationships, but despite their efforts, many end up parting ways or going through divorce.
One may ask: Why do couples struggle to make their relationships or marriages work? When conflicts arise, people often resort to various weapons; with which to either attack or defend themselves. The same happens in romantic relationships, where spouses use emotional, verbal or psychological tools against each other.
Weapons are designed to cause harm, injury, damage or destruction. Where weapons exist, peace cannot thrive. This is true in relationships as well.
When we think of weapons, we often imagine knives, guns, bombs or poison. But beyond physical weapons, many couples use emotional and psychological weapons such as words, silence and power to hurt each other.
Emotionally, some use words to manipulate, shame, control or belittle their partners. Others use silence as a form of punishment. Some wield their power or influence to deny their partners access to financial resources or emotional support.
If you’re experiencing constant conflict in your relationship or marriage and are seeking a way to break the cycle and restore peace, take time to reflect deeply.
Identify the weapons you’ve employed; whether consciously or unconsciously and recognize how they’re hurting your relationship. Commit to laying them down. Agree together not to use them again, and seek professional counselling. There is a blessing in saving a relationship.
In conclusion, “Great blessings belong to those who work to bring peace. God will call them his sons and daughters” – Matthew 5:9 (ERV).
Frank Edem Adofoli known as Counsellor Adofoli, is a renowned Counsellor, Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Practitioner, Conflict Expert, Conference Speaker, Motivator, and Author.
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