Someone asked me “if sex is not love then why does one get so much hurt when they are cheated on in a relationship?” It’s rather unfortunate people try to confuse love with sex. They are two different things. One can have sex with someone they love and another can also have sex with someone they don't love.
If the condition for having sex with the person is because you love them, and they break such conditions by having sex with others, you will get hurt. If you understand marriage is a sacred relationship and once you are married, you don't have to share your body with others, but you find out your spouse did that, that is cheating and you will get hurt.
You can decide to leave the marriage or the relationship because the condition is broken. Love on the other hand does not come with conditions, that’s why lovers still have to get married. Marriage offers them more protection and security. Marriage has conditions that have to be fulfilled. With just love, you can love a stranger or an enemy. That is why you can be patience with someone even when they are not patient with you. You can decide to be kind to someone even if they are not. You can decide to respect others even if they don't respect you.
When it comes to marriage or a relationship, the good thing is that, you have all the time to find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Someone who gives as much as you give. Such persons have what it takes to love you just as you have.
People get hurt when their partner cheats on them, not because of the love they share, but because of the relationship or the conditions of the relationship or the type of relationship. This is also because people try to be faithful for their partner. To such people what they are saying is, they could also cheat but because they are in a relationship, they try not to cheat and they do that for their partner. So, when their partner cheats on them it hurts so much because of the feeling of betrayal.
In some instances, the one cheated on also goes ahead to cheat on their partner to equalize it. People need to understand that relationships are products of individual conducts, character, habits, personality, actions etc. In other words you are a reflection of your relationship. You can't live a bad life and want to have a good relationship.
There are people who womanize with the mindset that once they find the right person they will stop. That's a big fat lie. There are ladies who sleep with men for money and believe once they meet the right person, they will stop, that's also a big fat lie. Things we do continuously become our habits and it is not easy to break a habit. Just because you met someone does not make it any easier to break a habit.
Your Relationship speaks volumes of who you are. If you want to be with a faithful person, you need to be faithful as a person. Do that for yourself. And if you get into a relationship and find out your partner is not faithful; you don't have much to lose. It then becomes an indication you are with the wrong person.
Trust yourself and share who you are with others in the name of relationship instead of going into a relationship to find someone to trust. One common law of nature is that, relationships are between people with lots in common. If you are a lair, you can't have a relationship with an honest person. If you are real, you can't have a relationship with the fake. If you are water, you can't have a relationship with oil.
In conclusion, God relates to us by who He is. "If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is" - 2 Timothy 2:13 (NLT).
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© Frank Edem Adofoli
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