If your boyfriend or girlfriend can call their friends, family, colleagues and disgrace you to them or tell them negative things about you, such a person should not be your spouse. As a matter of fact, it's a mistake to marry someone who behaves like that. Someone may ask "what about those who pick contacts from your phone and disgraces you to your friends and family". My answer is the same, don't marry such a person.
I am not in any way condoning wrong behaviour of any person. What you need to understand is that, when you have an issue with your partner or spouse, they are the best person to resolve the issue with. If your partner is not willing to change, they are simply telling you they don't want to be with you. If they truly wanted to be with you, they will pay attention to what you are complaining about and take the right steps to resolve it.
The best thing to do is to leave such a person, instead of calling all the persons who matter to them, disgracing them and telling others how bad they are. Many people who do that are not ready to let go the relationship either. They say nasty things about their partner to others just to feel good about themselves, to tell others how good they are. To let others know how perfect they are, and yet want to be with the imperfect.
How can an imperfect person be the right partner for a perfect person? it makes no sense in the first place. God had to make us perfect through Jesus Christ before He became our partner. If you caught her in bed with another man and you don't want to be with them again, let them know why you cannot be with them. Don’t go and disgrace them on social media, don’t go and disgrace them to your friends and family and come back to beg her to take you back. If you do that, then there is something seriously wrong with you.
If you still want to be with her after catching her in bed with another man, sit her down and let her know how much her behaviour has caused or affected you. Find out from them if they are happy with what they did, whether they want to leave or stay with you? Find out why they did that and what to do to prevent such occurrences.
Truth be told, the people who disgrace their partners to others don't do that out of love. Such persons don't know what love is about. He or she has no idea of family. If they do, they will find out the best way to help you become a better person, not to make you feel worse than you already do.
It’s the duty of your man, as a woman, to bring out the beauty in you and not the horrible, it's his duty to bring out the best in you not the worst, it's his duty to bring out the holiness in you and not the wickedness. It's his duty to bring the clean in you and not the filth. If he is not doing that, he is not your man.
That man who wants to marry you, what does he see in you that he wants to inspire and motivate you to become? If all he sees is the bad, ugly, filth, how can he help you? No wonder he is comfortable disgracing you to others. He doesn't see you as part and parcel of him, he does not see you as someone taken out of him, for if he does, he will rather protect you the same way he protects himself and doesn't disgrace himself in the public, hide all the negatives about himself from others and the public whiles he works on himself to become better.
In conclusion, "If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him" - 1 Corinthians 13:7 (TLB).
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