Sometimes it’s hard to understand our parents. We know they love us so much and don't intend anything bad for us but some of their decisions when it comes to marriage just breaks our hearts a thousand times. Here is a case you have met someone who invests in you and cares for you wholeheartedly. Someone who is attentive to your needs and wants, one who is so bold and clear about their love for you without questions and doubts; yet your parents says no to him or her.
Instead of your parents being happy for you, it seems they are mad with your decision to get married to this person; they kick against it and vow never to allow this marriage, but in your heart, you strongly feel this is the perfect life partner.
Your parents are citing tribe, educational background, religion, family history, etc. just to mar your happiness. You then ask yourself, ‘what do I have to do?’ Issues like this have caused lots of problems between families, parents and children.
Yes your parents are right to suggest a partner to you or give you a recommendation but not to impose or force any person on you for marriage. The reason is quite simple, your parents are not God and don't know God's purpose for your life. They are to nurture and guide you but not to be the god of your life.
The truth is there is no single soul on this earth that can alter God's plan for your life. If it's in God’s will, it will be done. Parents need to understand this.
You are a seed from God and your parents are careful you are not planted in a wrong soil of marriage, that is why they try to take these decisions for you.
Another factor is, many people lose control over their minds when they fall in love. Truth be told, the human brain is such an awesome gift God has given us; its full function begins on the day you are born. From then on it works without a break but sadly the only time it stops is when one falls in love. Their judgement becomes questionable, their reasons full of doubts.
If you are in tune with God and are fully convinced that this is His choice for you, please exercise patience, sit your parents down, thank them for their love and vigilance and let them know you have made the best choice. All you need from them is their love and prayer.
Never hate your parents or force them to like your future spouse. Don't push your partner on your parents either. Don't rush anything too. Give them enough time, they will get to the point where they will trust your decision and support you.
Tell your partner to also exercise patience, be prayerful at this time and never hate your parents for such decisions. Your parents love you and just want the best for you; it doesn't mean they hate your partner.
In conclusion "And now a word to you parents. Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice" - Ephesians 6:4 (TLB).
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