Ladies need to know that the purpose of the man in their lives is to love them not to use them. No woman should allow herself to be seen as an opportunity but rather be a friend by insisting that any man who wants them has what it takes to get her. It is an error to help a man marry you.
Many at times desperation makes people drink at every cup presented to them, without knowing that is how they get poisoned. It doesn't take only love to make a marriage work. In this modern world of ours, no matter how strong your feelings or chemistry for someone one is, you will need money to take care of them.
It is sad to know some men are so lazy out there and are looking for women as an opportunity to use them. It doesn't matter how handsome he is, one thing you should keep in mind is, you don't need a prince to make your marriage work, you need a person who can treat you like a princess; someone who cares for you and doesn't want to see you lack.
There is everything wrong with a man who accepts money from a woman for her bride price because he doesn't have or is broke at that moment. It is very deceptive for any man to agree or allow a woman to put cloth in a bag or provide the very things he was going to present to her in the name of bride price. That is the height of desperation.
What this means is, the man is not qualified for marriage but wants to do that through any crooked means. Well in case you don't know, the principal for marriage is God, and He doesn't approve a holy union based on deception.
There is nothing wrong helping people you love but there is everything wrong helping a man to marry you, it means he doesn't have what it takes to marry you. After the marriage, do you expect him to be a full man or half man? Do you expect him to provide, since you are teaching him it is fine not to provide because you can do that?
Any woman who wants to end up together with the man she loves has to show him how to get her, but not to cheapen herself for him without letting him get her. The truth is, he might know your true value because he didn't get you.
Instead of putting your clothes in a bag for bride price, giving him money, clothing him, etc, rather motivate and pray for him to work and earn enough to do that. If he has to go to school and learn a new skill, let him do that.
As least he will respect and value you when he is spending on you. No one wants to waste what he spends on. But it is easy to disrespect and waste what you didn't spend on or work for.
It is also important not to go to bed with any man you are dating even if you are not a virgin. So you won't have to marry a man because he impregnates you. You won't get so much attached if he refuses to man up. It makes you easily let go.
Be with a man who is independent, supportive. A man who can provide for himself and his household. A man who makes life better and not a man who makes life harder. That is love and if you have not met such a person yet, pray for love and don't play with love.
In conclusion "A lazy fellow is a pain to his employers—like smoke in their eyes or vinegar that sets the teeth on edge" - Proverbs 10:26 (TLB).
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