Love is a choice we make, a decision we take. You can choose to love an enemy; and in some marriages people are married to their enemies and not lovers. Enemies because of the treatment, insult, abuse, etc. they get.
In case you are married and wake up to find out your loving spouse has turned into an enemy overnight, what do you do; knowing marriage has a door but no window; knowing marriage is for better for worse; knowing divorce is not God's plan for marriage.
You also don't want to sin against God but the question is, how do I carry this heavy cross? The only way is to learn how to love your spouse. For when you are so much hurt, you don't feel like loving, you don't feel like doing things you will love to do for the one you love. The only option is to learn how to do nice things for your partner without feeling. Just as we learn to recite marriage vows, everyone can learn to love.
Wives can change their beast husband to a honey one by loving them. Not by nagging, insulting or accusing. Not by trying to change them but by helping them become a better version of themselves.
A Husband has the power to turn the raw woman they are married to into the nicest and most beautiful one by loving them; not by abusing, ignoring or abandoning them. Not by trying to fix them, even if you think they are broken. You rather start over by creating something better and you do that through loving them.
Loving your weak spouse at times like this requires dozens of patience to enable you understand they need help instead of you getting mad.
You choose to be deaf and blind to their weakness and focus on their strength. You appreciate the effort she spends cooking the food for you and don't focus on the taste of the food. That is how you help her to give you a better taste next time.
Open the door for her, help her with her load, smile and say welcome even though she left home without a word. You are not doing this because you are a fool, but because you know better, you are stronger, you are the leader.
You are not being nice to her because you want to get something from her, but because you have a good heart, and extending that to her enables her become better. You are not helping her because she is helpless but because you want to show to her she is valuable and you respect her.
As a good wife, know the power of words, use them as a key to turn your husband from bad to good by praising him when he does what is right, and encourage him when he is down, believe in him even when you see him failing. The fact that he irritates you a lot doesn't mean he hates you, it is just his ego that is preventing him from expressing his love for you. Ignore his bad words for when he is angry, he lacks wisdom.
Never treat him as bad as he treats you, rather treat him as good as you are. Be the light that shines over her darkness, be the smile that affects his frown. Be the arm that holds him close. Influence him positively.
In Conclusion "I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind" - Luke 6:35-36 (MSG).
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