I love him so much but he is not working, can I go ahead and marry him? She doesn't feel like working, I have all the money, can I go ahead and marry her? He is waiting for the parents to establish him, but time is running out and I have enough money, can I help with the marriage preparation so we can get married?
These are just few of the questions I get daily on whether to marry someone who is idle and doing nothing, someone waiting for the Government to employ them or waiting to hit a jackpot or a get miracle from heaven.
My caution has always been, don't marry anyone who is not working. I am not talking about the size of the paycheck but the person's commitment to himself and his family. You might not get the dream job or what you have been trained for but that shouldn’t make you idle or lazy. The little you can do to earn something is more important.
The question is, what will you do when you have a family at home to feed. Will it still be about what you want to do or what you have to do?
The bible says "Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece" - Proverbs 16:27. The Devil always finds work for the idle man. If a man loves his family, sitting idle is never his plan and a lazy woman is the one what finds gossip attractive.
When it comes to marriage, before God gave the man a wife, he first gave him work. "The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden as its gardener, to tend and care for it" - Genesis 2:15 (TLB). God has given us all we need but the problem is, some of us are too lazy to even think of what to do.
And the more we refuse to make use of what God has given us, the more useless we become. A man is not a man without a job. By a job I don’t only mean employment by a big firm, I mean when he can do positive and fruitful with what God gave him.
Any man who hasn't found himself a work cannot take care of his wife and family, he will rather ruin them.
For ladies who are out there looking for men to invest in you, you are doing something wrong. You must have something doing; you must have a goal, so a man can help you achieve it. Marriage is the business of serving each other. You grow by watering each other.
Don't let anyone make you their everything and yet refuse to make themselves anything. Don't allow anyone to invest in you if they are not investing in themselves. Love is a two-way affair and not one sided.
You might be crazy in love today and close your eyes and ears to this, but when the craziness is over, you will be frustrated when bills are not paid, when food is not at home, when the landlord knocks at your door and when your kids are sacked from school. No matter how much you love partner, your words at that moment cannot match your actions, not even if you are the best fashionista who knows how to match your shirt with your shoes.
In conclusion "But if anyone does not provide for his own, especially those in his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" - 1 Timothy 5:8 (TLV).
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
You are invited to my upcoming seminar; HOW TO KEEP YOUR WOMAN IN LOVE. Strictly for men (Singles & Married) on 2nd Dec. 2016 at Paloma Hotel, Spintex Road, Accra, 10am Sharp. The Rate is only 25gh. For ticket, more info, feedback, counseling, speaking engagement, to sponsor, partner or join our family, call or WhatsApp +233 20 677 4279.
Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.