This message is dedicated to singles in abusive relationships. Sometimes it’s funny what people think love is and end up getting trapped in an abusive relationship. They live in pain and fear, yet they can't seem to quit because they believe their partners will change, that things will get better, that they are in love and might not find someone better when they leave, or that they will never love again.
Love goes beyond kisses and sweet words, love is not based on looks or materials things, love is not based on sex but rather on respect, trust and honesty. Some singles think once they have given their body or parted with some material things, they have given love; while some think that once they have received sex, money, etc., its love. These are both false.
Love touches your soul and not your body. Because you have given people the license over your body without knowing you, they easily throw all sorts of words at you at the least provocation. They hide behind bad mood as an excuse and use cruel words on you, forgetting that their mood will pass with time but their cruel words will wound the soul and even take forever to heal.
When they want to hang around you, sleep with you or want a favour from you, they easily say sorry and want you to act like nothing went wrong; when in fact your mind remembers the words and your heart remembers how it feels. Your mind may forget but your heart doesn't.
It even gets worse when they raise their hand against you or use objects on you and you think that is love? Absolutely not. The day they raise their hands on you could be the day they cease to be your husband or wife.
"Love doesn’t hurt others. So loving is the same as obeying all the law" - Romans 13:10 (ERV).
The best love someone can ever give you is the one that makes you a better person, not the one that hurts you or tries to turn you into someone other than yourself. The one who loves you respects you.
It's a lie to think you can't love again when you leave. The truth is, the broken will always be able to love harder than most. It’s like being in the dark, and once you are out you learn to appreciate everything that shines.
For those of you who think falling in love is a dream and something that will come to pass one day, when you do get married, please wake up. What you are witnessing now in that abusive relationship is real, it’s the reality of how the future will be and it gets worse, for people don't really change but rather get better at what they do, good or bad.
Leaving such a person is not a loss. Why will you waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value you but rather abuses you? Walk away not because you want them to realize your worth and value, but because you have finally realized your own worth and know you deserve better.
In case you are confused as to whether this is love or not and what they are planning for you in the future, just listen to their words when they are mad, you will get to know their mind. Watch their actions and you will get to know their heart.
In conclusion "and don’t give the devil a chance" - Ephesians 4:27 (CEV).
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
You are invited to my upcoming seminar; HOW TO KEEP YOUR WOMAN IN LOVE. Strictly for men (Singles & Married) on 2nd Dec. 2016 at Paloma Hotel, Spintex Road, Accra, 10am Sharp. The Rate is only 25gh. For ticket, more info, feedback, counseling, speaking engagement, to sponsor, partner or join our family, call or WhatsApp +233 20 677 4279.
Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.